We all know about the emotional weight carried by firefighter's wives (and husbands) that comes from having him go off to work or respond to a call not knowing if he'll return in one piece, or not at all.

If that one quality wasn't enough, we know that there are many unique qualities that make wives of firefighters so special- their ability to juggle the family when he's not home, last minute changes in scheduling, being there for him during the best of times and the worst of times, having his back when he needs it the most.

Share with us that which makes a firefighter's wife so special.  We'll be featuring this discussion on an upcoming Firefighter NetCast program.

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Try presenting an opposing viewpoint instead of firing it. Whatever you had to say was overpowered by the way you blasted it at us. It's all in the approach, and yours sucked. Again.
I have heard that they're "so special." (I've also heard, "It's cheaper to keep her...")

Okay, let's all talk about how "special" they are, as opposed to how "special" we are - such a refreshing change...

And kindly enlighten the rest of us how their "specialness" differs from that of any other spouse. Don't other partners possess "the ability to juggle the family when he's not home, last minute changes in scheduling, being there for him during the best of times and the worst of times, having his back when he needs it the most?" So, yeah, what makes them "so special?"

Just askin... for the sake of discussion. Unless of course you only wanted to hear from those who agree with you...

-------------------------------------------------

Rational? Appropriate? Respectful? Nice try. Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story!

“There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance” - Socrates
Yes. We agree.
I know very few guys who talk about their better half referring to the phrase "cheaper to keep her". That in and of itself is disrespectful not just of firefighter wives but all women in general. I try to be respectful to everyone and most of the time I succeed. Not all the time, but most of the time. My wife-to-be joined the fire dept. not to keep tabs on me but to see what I do and she's now my station safety officer and believe me she keeps me in line and I'm glad she does. She's special to me not because she's a future firefighter's wife, but she's soon to be MY firefighter's wife. I do believe that Kali is not a good place right now in her personal life and is taking it out on you. And Kali that is only an observation not an attack against you. And yes on here we are allowed to make personal observations about each other and that, in most circumstances, is not a personal attack.
I will copy Norm's sentiments almost word for word... actually I will type them instead of copy because I am not that lazy.
I'm very proud of my wife, who happens to be my best friend. I thank her every day for what she does for me. She supports what I do and have done in the past, whole-heartedly. However, she did this LONG BEFORE I became a firefighter. When I went on the road (driving commercial vehicle) during winter storms, long hours away from home, many many missed birthdays etc etc. Also during my firefighting days, and more recently when I became sick and can no long work at anything. Waiting with me, supporting me, and basically taking care of me, for five years during my battles with numerous diseases (brought on by firefighting) and now while I wait for my airbag replacement ( lung transplant) makes her special. NOT because I was a firefighter. Like many others (who have stated on this site) that are against the "hero" stuff, and the need to be a hero etc etc, I find this thread somewhat similar. To say that a firefighters' spouse is any more special than any other professional's spouse is simply a matter of opinion. My wife is special and I am thankful everyday. You wanna know about a hero that saved a life..well she saved mine numerous times. If I told her I went on here and bragged about it, she would kill me!

Am I gonna get a whole bunch of "el toro pooh pooh" back because I stated my opinion? I hope not, I would not want to get my wife to fight my battles. (but she probably would! lol)
Here is a final thought.. Just for no other reason than ..well just cuz you can, why not go give your spouse a big hug right fn now! Not because they are the spouse of a firefighter or other emergency service worker, just because.
Thanks Michael. I appreciate your kind words about your fiance. The road throughout your fire service career is best traveled with the support and love of a special partner, and you seem blessed to be starting that journey with such a partner.
My first thought about this discussion was that it was gratuitous fluff.
My second was; 'Is someone in the doghouse?"
My third thought was; "Why?"

Firefighters die on the job or because of it. Firefighters have (according to some) higher than average divorce rates and alcoholism. So why a light and fluffy topic such as "Firefighter Wives - What makes them so special?" Is it because firefighters calling in to sing the praises of their wives will be fun and charming? Or maybe those firefighters that have gotten divorced can call in and explain how miserable they are (so all the married ones can feel better). Can we hope to hear some practical suggestions to making a marriage successful? Or is this Mother's Day redux?

This is an interesting article "What Every Firefighter's Spouse Should Know" (note the non-gender specific title) - http://www.fireengineering.com/index/articles/display/8060197489/ar...

and this article "REDUCING OCCUPATIONAL MENTAL STRESS
FOR FIRE FIGHTER/PARAMEDICS" presents some enlightening facts as well - http://www.emich.edu/cerns/downloads/papers/FireStaff/Stress,%20Fit...

So in retrospect (or perhaps for another day) a better topic for discussion would be one of the two above. Just my thoughts on this discussion and I hope I presented them appropriately enough and didn't just fire them out there.

It's anyone's guess whether or not I'm in a good or bad place. I know where I'm at and that's all that matters.
Brian, thanks for taking the time to relate your story of love and compassion. You make a great point that, regardless of your vocation, a wife who would wait with, take care, and all-around support you is the best asset you can have in your lifetime.

You presented your opinion eloquently and without avarice- for this I thank you. As we draw closer to a program date, perhaps you might take part in our conversation, as your viewpoint is shared by many, many others and deserves to be shared.

I wish both you and your angelic wife great comfort and success in enduring your upcoming operation.

-John
I have no rose-colored glasses however I'm not bitter either. And that's just how you come off...bitter. And can you please explain to me how this post is self-serving? This guy loves his wife (as most men do) and started a thread about how he thinks his wife is special because she's a firefighters wife. That's his opinion. You of course have yours and the freedom to express it. But don't expect us to sit back and be quiet with ours either. And again that's just an observation. Which is a fancy word for opinion. Which, like a**holes, everyone has.
You got that right. And I'm starting it all over again with a very special woman.
Jack, the point of the discussion was to collect information for an upcoming netcast. We will be seeking input prior to our shows to help frame them and make them better before they air. That has already happened and continues.

Although it was not meant to argue an opinion, it has gone that direction. That's not a problem, as it still helps us to frame the program.

As you mentioned, the marriage between a firefighter and their spouse has certain qualities that make it different from other marriages. Not necessarily better. Not necessarily sweeter. Not necessarily more blessed. Just different, and special.

I appreciate your offers/links. We will consider them for inclusion as well. The first will work for our planned program, and the second is an excellent topic for a show of it's own.

Moreover, I appreciate your effective approach which centered more on your opinion rather than your emotion.

-J
Michael,
Maybe you should just come right out and say that Kali is having her period. That would certainly wrap her attitude up in something you can at least relate to. Clearly a women with strong opinions is a bit of anathema to you. Just my observation, nothing personal of course.

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