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Only a Southerner Knows - Reference for those above the Mason/Dixon line
THis is just cute & I had to pass it along. I had a chat with someone the other day who said I sounded VERY SOUTHERN. Ok, Southern OHIO. I was @ a class once where 1 instructor was from New York & the other from North Carolina. I understand both languages.
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful breakfast foods; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !
Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know y'all got here as fast as y'all could
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful breakfast foods; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !
Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know y'all got here as fast as y'all could
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by BillySFCVFD on
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"Bad" girls are everywhere. Northern ones say "yes" and southern ones say "yes ya'll". Too funny not to mention. TCSS
I know, I'm a pig.
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Permalink Reply by Ben Waller on
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Imagine what would happen if you had posted a different word - one that proposed a different ethnic/racial/religious label or stereotype - instead of the word "southern". Would everyone on FFN think it was appropriate? Would you have still posted it?
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Permalink Reply by Jenny Holderby on
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No I wouldn't have but I can't imagine what other word would fit there. Any southerner you talk to is going to understand exactly what all of those things mean. Or @ least most of them do. It wasn't meant as racial/ethnic or religious or as a stereotype @ all. In Baltimore if you order sweet tea they give you a glass of weak tea with packets of sugar. Grits are actually called something else in other parts of the world IF you can get them. & I happen to like tomatoes with my eggs. Y'all is another term for You-uns or yous guys. You can have some very plesant conversations standing in line @ WalMart. But there are Red Necks & Good Ole' Boys everywhere not just in the south.
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If there is a death in the family, you better bet this will happen or if someone is in the hospital or had a baby.
"Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!"
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way. I've been honked @, screamed @ & gestured @ driving 75 on the beltway. I wish someone had said "Well bless her heart, she's from the south & doesn't know that speed limits mean nothing around here."
OH MI GOSH!! They didn't say ANYTHING about NASCAR. Oh yea, Michigan, Kansas, New Hampshire,Texas & California aren't southern.
Ok, i'm finished now.
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So it's OK to post something that can be taken as offensive as long as it's not offensive to YOU?
Is that what you're saying?
Or...are you saying that it's OK to post something that can be taken as offensive if you have a limited imagination?
The bottom line is that you posted something that poked fun at a group of people based on stereotypes. And...you didn't call them "Red Necks" or "Good Ole" Boys" in your original post. You called them "Southern".
African-Americans, Asians, Latinos, Native Americans, Jews, gays, and members of any other group "understand what all of those things mean" when people use labels and stereotypes when someone makes fun of them. That doesn't make it appropriate.
The bottom line is that you used labeling and stereotypes to make fun of a group of people on a very public forum.
That is either OK, or it's not. Which is it?
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Permalink Reply by Tony P on
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Interesting the way this thread seems to be going. Perhaps it's because I'm not of the USA but I just saw the OP as a bit of gentle humour. Ihad a laugh at it. Is there really hatred between those of the 'north' and those of the 'south'?
We do this sort of thing all the time - the State to the north of me call us 'Mexicans', we say the State to the north of them called their beer 'XXXX' because they can't spell, I'd better not tell you what we say about the State to the south of me!
So, would people in the south see this post as offensive? Or are they able to laugh at themselves in a healthy manner?
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In other words, you believe that it's OK to make fun of a group based on labels and stereotypes. Thanks for clearing that up.
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Tony,
If you can't tell us what you say to the state to the south of you, that might be a sign that something that is percieved as humor by one group can be very offensive to another group. I believe that you answered your own question there, brother.
Ben
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Mr. Waller,
ANYTHING can be offensive to ANYONE if they want to make it so. Everybody is a member of one type, group or class or another. The "tone" you eveidentially read into my post was definitely not the tone I felt it was written in. Considering that I think of MYSELF as "Southern" why would I poke fun of that? There was no intentional negative targeting, in fact in my opinion it was praising southerners. Who defines where or what "Southern" is? The reference to red necks & good ole boys is in the post saying southerners know the difference which is not saying that southerners ARE red necks or good ole boys and who defines what that is?
If it was actually offensive to anyone, I appologize because it was never intended to be racial/ethnic/religious nor was it labeling, stereotyping, targeting or controversial.
No, I am not someone who enjoys labeling or sterotyping or targeting. I work @ a university where the population is VERY diverse and a large percentage of our students are from other countries where a multitude of religions are present as well as an abundance of customs observed.
Even @ the university I hear all kinds of jokes, remarks & comments about Appalachia which isn't a group it is a geographic area, much like the "southern" reference is geographic. How others stereotype people from that area can be an issue. Explaining customs from that area is not the same thing as labeling.
Yes, it is a very public forum much like facebook, myspace & some that aren't worth mentioning where there is some extremely offensive material depending on your sex, age group, political affiliation & religious background. This is the 21st century where thanks to technology there is an absolute mind boggling degree of information (both good & bad depending on the readers opinion) available within nanoseconds @ the click of a mouse or a few keystrokes.
So we don't post jokes on the off duty forum? ALL jokes are offensive to someone if they think about it long enough. Some will read what I posted & smile or laugh, others will say to themselves that it was a waste of time & space and click off from the page on to something else. Very few of whom would believe that I intended it to be offensive. But thank you for pointing out my error & taking the time to compose your repromand.
Aren't you stereotyping or labeling me by saying that I have a limited imagination?
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Permalink Reply by Will2745 on
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Jenny, I dont care what anyone says,,now that there was funny. and i cannot help but wonder if mister waller has ever laughed at an ethical joke?..
As for me..there is nothing like a little humor to keep my day going, as God knows, there sure isnt much else to make a person laugh these days,,
God Bless and stay safe.
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Actually mate, they play to the joke themselves. As I said, we can laugh at ourselves.
What I was doing was trying to add a modicum of humour. You want to know what we say about Tasmanians? Well put it this way, when someone is introduced in a group as Tasmanian, we tend to look at their shoulders, and they usually say something like "I had the second head removed, look not even a scar". We know we're joking, they know we're joking, all laugh. The ice is broken.
I also tell blonde jokes. After all, I used to be a blonde, before it went grey and then disappeared.
I tell Irish jokes - my grandfather was Irish, but he was smart, he left.
I tell English jokes. I was born there.
Almost everything we laugh at can be seen as hurtful to somebody. Should we stop all humour? Some things that are told as jokes are obviously hurtful, there are many people around that will say "I was only being sarcastic". Well sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, it's designed to be aggressively hurtful. But someone having a gentle dig at her own dialect? No, that I'll laugh at. Honestly, I could see nothing wrong with Jenny's post at all.
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