Last month I started having pain when I urinated and I did not think anything of it since I am clumsy and sometimes rack myself by mistake and feel it the next day. I slipped while on my roof the other day (sheet metal roof and a nail broke through the wood sending the metal panel and me to slide down the roof) and I ended up with the antenna pole falling on top of me. I am ok after that but just needed a few minutes to get back up.

I though my pain was because of the antenna falling on me but then for the next week the pain was there and then gone so I though about possible causes, damage was done from the antenna, STD (but I do not sleep around), kidney stone, or some other issue. I just thought I could deal with the pain and see what would happen and that was the wrong thing to do. Last week I had a severe pain that was almost unbearable and some blood came out and at this point I knew it was not the antenna injury, I knew it was not a STD for two reasons (I do not sleep around and either does my wife, and I donated blood and read my test results as negative to all sorts of STD's), and that led me to the conclusion I had a kidney stone. I thought I could take it so I researched every possible way to get a kidney stone and every way to get rid of it. I even contacted a close friend of mine to get techniques of back massage so I could urinate more. I started drinking 3 to 4 liters of water a day and though, I am a man, I can take it but yet again I was wrong.

I went to the doc and he did an ultrasound and seen two stones each about the size of half a dime. I thought to myself, oh dear God that a big stone for such a tiny hole. Yay, it turns out I was right... crap, thats not something I wanted to be right about. Yesterday I urinated a stone out and I could not go out all day because of the pain. I do not have pain meds so I have to cope with feeling like crap.

This morning is a once in a lifetime training so I was excited to go and have a great day but when I woke up this morning I had a pain that was so bad that my vision was suffering, a fever developed, and I have Diarrhea. I thought, I could hack it and go to this awesome training so I got ready, shaved, dressed, walking out the door and bam!, a shock of pain that made me feel like I was going to die. I mean wow this was so bad that I could move for 30 minutes. I fell to the floor and curled into a ball and just could not move. I then texted Mike Vito (the OIC) and told him I could not make it today.

I am thickheaded and really want this training since I am a foreigner and it would be great to have a training certificate from the Philippines but this training is so rare that I have not heard of another volunteer brigade holding it. This training is essentially FF1 with SCBA and to undergo the training (as a refresher) it would be great for me personally and professionally.

Today I found out my limits, my attitude needs changing, and always look after your own body first before you decide to try and help others or you may end up killing the person you are trying to help.

anyways, those are my thoughts for today, please leave comments and no negative ones please.