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Relationships inside the fire/ems service
I need some advice. Do yal think dating someone inside the fire service will have any effect on the relationship itself.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kayleigh on
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I dont think so, at least you know you have something in common. Just dont let it affect your professionalism when it comes to the department and if you happen to have issues in the relationship leave them at home especially if your on a call, you need your mind on what your doing.
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Permalink Reply by Mike Schlags (Captain Busy) Retd on
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success in any relationship is based on common interests and passions. having someone who understands what you do for a living is paramount and as far as I can figure will do nothing but get better as time goes by. of course there may be in house jealousy issues but that's there problem and not yours... right?
CBz
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Permalink Reply by Caleb Dixon on
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In my case I shouldn't have to work with her on any calls. Her squad is across the county .... Another thing that kills is when we are talking and she has a call and she has to go. Guess I finally get to see it from another point of view, of what it's like to see the one you care about have to leave you sitting there.
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Permalink Reply by Tarisa on
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To speak ONLY from my own experience and that os my hubby(we sit togeather and read there togeather)we don't...quick history on us his X HATED the fire service and my X was a ff...(he passed way 8 years ago)she did not understand the srevice,when he divorced he always said he will never date or marry again unless she was in the service I think he helps because we know what each other thinks and feels with regaurd to running calls,we can better help each other cope.It's funny cause when we were dateing i always told him on working jobs the only thing he will see is my ass(he will be backing me)its funny to see who was first out the door,the only issue with him was dealing with the rumor mill being one of a hand ful of women I got acused of sleeping with everyone from the chief to the jeaster of the company but he knew I was faithful as long as you have enough faith and love for your other half you will be fine its nice to have that special bond knowing if you have a bad call that your other half understans I guss the bottom line is love and trust (love you baby)
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Permalink Reply by Olivia Jones on
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Caleb, here is the best piece of advise I have to offer you. Its a good thing yall dont normally work together however if you do work the same scene, anyone on that fireground that doesnt already know you are together SHOULDN'T be able to tell. My husband and I work in the same department and it wasn't until our city "Employee Day" barbaque when our Mayor, City Council and others saw us talking to the same children and heard our kids call us Mama and Daddy that they realized we were married to eachother.
It also took one of our probies several months to figure it out and this is a GOOD thing. It means that our work lives and privet lives dont meet. On the job he is my engineer and Im his safety officer, anything else would be a disservice to our Dept, Community, and our family
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Olivia thank you I forgot to put that in too that is great advice we dont show PDA either at work either
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very well written. When we train together I treat her just like I would everyone else, we've both grown up in the service knowing work comes first.... Thanks for the advice
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Permalink Reply by Andrew on
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Some couples in emergency services work very well since they have a lot in common, and they both have the same gripes about work.
Most people outside of emergency services don't understand the mental anguish that some of us go through seeing the things we do. But having a partner that understands that can definitely be healthy for the relationship.
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Permalink Reply by Mac Conant on
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My experience with it was good. It was awesome when she would stay over at my place and Id get a fire and leave, she'd stay in bed. Get to the call, do overhaul, and then go home. I get into bed, curl back up, and she rolled over, yawned, stretched and said, "you were doing overhaul weren't you?" I asked "How do you know" Her reply? "I can tell from the smell.." She liked it! Oh gosh..good ol days.
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Permalink Reply by FETC on
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Dating or married to someone in your own department???? Hmmm.
When things are good, they are good. If you can stay professional, or have nobody know your "together" thats even better. I teach alot of leadership classes, and one of the most common issues I have had to deal with lately is Fire Chiefs and Company Officers asking how to handle, "messy breakups", "internal department dating", divorce and then dating other fellow members of the same department. These issues change the interpersonal dynamics of the working - trust relationship, for which is the foundation of the fire service.
Now you can sugar coat it all you want but when it ends messy, or one decides to pay you back by dating your fellow co-worker, the entire department can suffer. I have seen it lead to division, arguements, claims of harrassment, personal lawsuits and fire chiefs who didn't know how to handle the issues - fired.
My suggestion to administration is NO internal department dating or marriage - Now I understand some already do, but grandfather them and move on from this point in the form of a policy.
Dating other Fire /EMS personnel is fine but just keep that to different departments or agencies.
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Permalink Reply by Paul Montpetit on
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It might, I'll have to ask my wife........LOL she might not approve of me dating someone from the Department.......LOL
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Permalink Reply by Tommy Lewis on
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You just had to bring that one out of the closet didn't you Ralph.
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