Need to vent : 23 years old, the senior firefighter on my shift and feeling like an old salt.... HELP ME

So here i sit at the youthful age of 23 the senior firefighter on my shift....im trying to figure out how this happened lol. Perhaps some older guys have advice for me and this new role of being the go to guy. I feel like a liason between managment and the crew half the time, and the other half the time i feel like a baby sitter...I have not seen it all or done it all and do not claim to, But my captain tells me different quite often. I have a regular probie and work alot of ot on another shift with a probie as well. I got my big break as a paid FF at 19. The reason im feeling salty is that recently my 4 year relationship fell apart (due to the job), and i was the victim of hep c exposure during a lengthy extrication on sunday needless to say im awaiting results and am quite nervous and angry. Neither incident will change my love for the job but maybe my morale wil improve if you senior guys have advice or similar experiences and are willing to share.

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What does the senior firefighter mean? Are you an officer or just the oldest guy on the shift? Are you actually responsible for others on the shift or do you just feel that you need to be?
Exposure is part of alot of Jobs and am sorry to hear that it might have happen... I am a nurse and everyday something could happen.. I am just wondering how you found out about the hep C exposure.. The Pt or Hospital.. As far as a relationship that happens when the love is gone should never be about a job.. Love is love no matter what. If she could not handle it I am sorry ,but not the right one.... You almost sound overwhelmed from this and wonder if maybe being so young that the job has gotten to you already.... Advice take everyday like it's your first day at work.. Every call will be different good calls ,bad calls.. Things only people like us should see.. We save the lifes of people who won't thank us, Or the ones who are in the house bring us fresh baked goods every day.. People who have less training will ask us are we doing this right time after time..we shake our heads yep or nope then we show them this is how I do it... As you get older we assume more tasks.People expect more from us and days we can give, others days climb under the bed and hide..It's life... How u choose to deal with it is up to you.. I myself I try having a day just for me.. I have sat and cried many of times, I have shook my head and wonder what the hell I did that for,but when the day is done and the new day begins.. You try harder,or just except the fact your only human,and you gave it all..... Remember you were a probie at one time,just think how they will feel when they have to give advise .. Just like you now giving advise to them... The pattern never changes we just get older.
Seems like you have alot of years ahead of you even though you started young. I started when I was 20 as a volunteer and although not carreer back then you still go through similar stages. Embrace the role as the go to guy and give back to those who have less experiance than you. Be the one that the new guys look up to and respect. Don't refer to yourself as the senior firefighter or the salty veteran, won't get you very far with anyone. Have you noticed that the salty/senior firefighters never say that they are...but everyone knows it. You are going to have ups and downs now and certainly later on...just have to figure out how to keep your morale up and carry on. Good luck to you.
Hey no worries eh, I can relate am 26 and chief rebuilt a department at the same time as learning how to do it. But I can till you that its all worth it. Hope its all going good for you.
Well the fact that you are the SR guy on the shift is just a fact of life. Can really help there but to say do the best you can teach what you know and help the young guys do the job and you can all grow together. it sound like you are in a rather small department. Maybe you can talk with the Capt and get some advise from him to see if what your doing meets what he execpts. As far as the Hep c well lets just pray it all works out it is a fact of this job. The lost relationship is a hard thing in the business in any walk of life not just firefighting it is hard for people to understand what we do the why and if the can do that they always feel like it comes first and when you add in the Hep C thing it will always be the same why risk you life for people you dont know civilans will never understand that is why you see a lot of us sticking together firefighters and nurses cops and nurses and so on. Just keep you head up protect you guys. The one piece of advice I can give you is this don't let you age stop you do what you can anf brings you guys home every call and you have done your job.
Know your abilities and limitations and learn from there. TCS
dang dude you have had one of my months well Im not older and i dont have any advice for you on the fire side but when i took over the frac tank division at a company i worked for a few years ago i had a similar problem. a bunch of kids that thought they could play all the time and i was having trouble geting what i needed done. i took the problem to my boss and he said loyd i didnt put u there to b nice your there boss your job is to make sure everything gets done no one gets hurt and the equipment doesnt get torn up oh and keep the costumer happy at all cost. well i took his advice and you know what those guys are still friendly twards me and we got the job and had a lil fun doing it they didnt run me down because i was right there with them doing the same job that i asked them to do as far as the girl that job cost me my wife (not a big loss)

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