Relationships in the firehouse...what's your take?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now, we met at the firehouse when i joined, and we have successfully managed to (as i like to say) 'divorce' on the fire scene. even when he was in serious danger, i kept my cool and continued to do what i was told. I know not everyone can accomplish that. i was just wondering if anyone else is in or has been in a successful firehouse relationship or if anyone is completely against it?
what's your opinion?

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Permalink Reply by FireRescue1.com on October 5, 2007 at 7:39pm

Check out this article on emotional survival for firefighters: http://www.firerescue1.com/health/articles/291464 ... it has a couple really good take-aways

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Permalink Reply by JOHN BEASLEY on October 18, 2007 at 9:21pm

I DONT HAVE ISSUES WITH COUPLES JOINNING THE FD. I THINK ITS GOOD BECAUSE YOUR SPOUSE ALWAYS KNOWS THE COMMITMENT AND DEDICATION IT TAKES TO BE A FIREFIGHTER . THE ONLY PROBLEM IS WHEN ONE OR THE OTHER CHEATS WITH A FELLOW MEMBER THEN THE ISSUES FLOW! I THINK YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE SOMEBODY AND IF THEY ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP MARRIED OR GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND THEY SHOULD BE OFF LIMITS TO EVERYONE ELSE AT THE FIRE HOUSE. REASON BEING IF YOU CANT TRUST YOUR BROTHER OR SISTER WITH YOUR SIGNIFIGANT OTHER HOW ARE YOU GONNA TRUST HIM OR HER IN A HOUSE FIRE. I DONT KNOW ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE BUT WHEN WE GO ON CALLS I PUT MY LIFE IN MY PARTNERS HANDS AND HE PUTS HIS IN MINE.... IF THERE ARE ISSUES AND HARD FEELINGS BETWEEN YOU ITS SO HARD TO PUT THAT KIND OF TRUST IN SOMEONE WHO HAS BETRAYED A FELLOW BROTHER OR SISTER IN THE FIRE SERVICE. WE ARE ALL ADULTS SOME IN DIFFRENT STAGES OF ADULTHOOD BUT NONE THE LESS WE ALL SHOULD RESPECT AND THINK OF WHAT YOUR ACTIONS ARE GOING TO DO TO THE IMAGE OF YOU THE OTHERS INVOLVED AND THE IMAGE OF YOUR FD. WE HAVE SEVERAL COUPLES AT OUR DEPT BUT WE HAVE ALSO HAD SOME MARRIED AND UNMARRIED COUPLES MESS AROUND WITH OTHER MEMBERS AND IT ALWAYS KILLS THE MORAL AT THE DEPT AND CAUSES PROBLEMS. AND THATS JUST SOMETHING THATS HARD TO GET OVER AND MOVE PAST EVEN IF YOU ARENT THE PERSON INVOLVED!!!!! WE ALL HAVE TO TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT AND THINK OF OTHERS FIRST AS WELL AS OUR OWN DESIRES AND THOUGHTS. I THINK WE AS FIRE FIGHTERS HAVE ENOUGH DRAMA TO DEAL WITH WITHOUT ADDING MORE USELESS CRAP ON TOP OF EVERYDAY STRESS

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Permalink Reply by LadyChaplain on October 19, 2007 at 10:00pm

very very nice. i enjoyed the article.

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Permalink Reply by Mike Davenport on October 19, 2007 at 10:53pm

I am a career in the fire service and am a volley too. My wife (of 16 years) has nothing to do with the fire service. I have seen many problems over the years with anyone career Fire/Law Enforcement/EMS dating marring any one in career Fire/Law Enforcement/EMS. The issue is being able to get away from it. Let me say I am as eat up with the fire service as anyone can be but when I go home it stays at the station. What I do is what I am I honestly believe that the service provided by volunteers is a professional service and the only difference between me and a volunteer is a pay check. That having been said when you HAVE to go to work and do it your outlook on things is different than if you volunteer, not that that volunteer service is substandard or my love of the service is any different, but that you can chose to take a break from it at times if you volunteer. If you both volunteer or if on career and one volunteer is it would probable be OK, if you are both career not so much. I have seen these relationships work but it takes work because the work goes home. What we do is very unique in that we take uncontrolled situations and make them OK and a refuge from this stressful situation is a very pleasant thing. When you go home it should be a get away that will let you chill. I don’t know if this make sense but it is nice to go home and not have to worry about it.

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Permalink Reply by Brian Dumser on March 24, 2008 at 10:11am

In my Department, personnel who are dating or married cannot work the same shift in the same house, (unless manpower needs require it). Stay safe!

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Permalink Reply by Becky on March 24, 2008 at 11:13am

I think it can work, actually i know it can work. I have been married 20 years and both my husband and i are firefighters on the same dept. I joined 9 years ago and hubby followed a year later (he was preoccupied at time with other volunteer work). We have done great, he now is an asst chief and state instructor and i am accountibility officer. We work great together and the fact that we are married does not play a role once the tones go off. We then become best friends and co-firefighters and deal with the task on hand. I do not treat him any different and dont expect anything more from him on scene then the i expect from any of my other co-firefighters, nor does he from me. BUT i would not encourage anyone to start a new relationship out of the fire hall. I know my marriage is solid and we came into the fire service knowing that, but i also know if something were to go wrong we could not both be on the dept. There is just to much drama that plays into relationships failing and the fire house is not an appropriate place for that to take place, nor is it fair to the other members. It is stressful when a relationship fails, not only to the two involved but everybody around may be effected in one way or another. I am not against it but like i said i would never encourage it.

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Permalink Reply by adam vogler on March 24, 2008 at 3:52pm

well my shelf and my girlfriend are in the department along with other married couples and unmarried couples we also have parents with there children in the same dept but everyone does there job with no problem

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Permalink Reply by Engineco913 on March 24, 2008 at 5:29pm

aw man I thought chief had shut this one down...

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Permalink Reply by Dominic Santulli on March 25, 2008 at 6:15pm

I met my wife through the firehouse 10 years ago. She was in a neighboring fire dept. We had a mutual friend who introduced us. We worked several times together on mutual aid calls, always keeping a watchful eye on each other. We have been married 7 years with 2 beautiful boys. It just takes some trust in the other's ability do what they have been trained to do.

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Permalink Reply by firegirl1 on March 27, 2008 at 12:17am

Well, I think it is a bad decision for all involved. When these "firehouse" relationships end they usually ends very badly. It is usually the female that fares worse. Terms like "doorknob" are thrown around when speaking about the female. And lord help you if you date another guy on the job. I have never done this. Is it done? Sure but I do not think it is a great idea. Listen, you said you have been together for 2 years so obviously something must be working. Just both of you must be above reproach so be cool when on duty. Good luck to you both.

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Permalink Reply by Joel C Kelley on March 27, 2008 at 12:22am

My wife started as a member of our auxilliary, and now that we are in Hawaii, she has started wearing bunker gear. All I can say is that I am tremendously proud of her, and that our chief doesn't put us on the same crew on scenes. We get along better than most married couples, though.

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Permalink Reply by AFD on March 27, 2008 at 1:21am

Yes i have intorduce my best good friend to her husband and he has now retired as a fire capt and she is still on active duty as a senior firefighter emtdc and i have the honor to say they both have been blessed by god to have over 15 years of marriage and still going storng :)