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Nightmares
My husband is going to be graduating from EMT school in october and after that heading into being a firefighter. As the day gets closer I have found myself having terrible nightmares about things that could happen to him. I'm terrified at the thought of losing him. We have 2 small children (3 &1) And I have been having dreams of them growing up without a father :( I wonder if the dreams wil fade eventually, maybe they are just coming because he is fixing to graduate. I hope that once he is on the job my mind will ease up.
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Comment by Alexis Hughes on September 1, 2009 at 2:30pm
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lol i know how you feel! it stinks in the beginging but just knowing that it will only take one more year is always good :) good luck!!!
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Comment by ReChelle Schlauch on August 31, 2009 at 4:19pm
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Hope you have a great week! We are getting ready for more change in our household..now my husband is starting paramedic school tomorrow on top of working at the station! Whew..work then school all day on off day! I know we will get through it and it will be worth it...in bout a year!!! LOL
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Thank you so very much Jim! I think thats what it is im just used to him being home all the time! We have good communication so i think it will go smoothly. Thank you so much for the feedback :)
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Comment by Jim Ladewig on August 29, 2009 at 3:57pm
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Alexis, know all to well what you are going through. I was newly married and my wife was expecting our first child when I statrted the fire academy. I was gone constantly and she said she was getting real uneasy with me being a firefighter. Having a lot of second thoughts and dreams. Its a big transition when he wasn't a firefighter when you got married like I wasn't either. But that was 19 years ago now and you will see it will get a lot easier. You will always have it in the back of your mind of him getting hurt but that is only normal. One thing is both of you should have a lot of communication about his work and stay involved with his station and his shift mates. It will be harder not having him around when the catastrophes at home happen, ie, water flooding the house, dog got hit by car, all kind of things with the kids, lol. But its all worth it, just hang in there.
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Comment by Michael J Burke on August 28, 2009 at 10:37pm
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very well spoken Lynda and everyone else. Training and safety seem to be a common theme in most departments and I think just have faith in your husbands skills and the Fire Department itself. I agree with what Art said very well put.
Stay safe
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Comment by Art "ChiefReason" Goodrich on August 27, 2009 at 10:30pm
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I thought all of the comments were positive.
With regards to things that he cannot control, he and his partners will do what they can to control them as well.
There are very few things that are beyond our control.
If you have air, water and a way out, you can control it.
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Thank you to those of you with positive feedback! I do trust my husband I just dont trust things that he cannot control.
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Comment by Brian Mackie on August 27, 2009 at 10:38am
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Hang in there Alexis. I am sure things will be great for you and your family. Melissa's comments are bang on!
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We did talk about it, & I do not like the thought of my husband running into a burning building but I love him and support him in following his dream. That doesnt mean in the back of my mind i'm not going to be scared something could happen to him.
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Alexis:
Didn't you and him have discussions of his wanting to be a firefighter/EMT?
I am sure that you are smart enough to know that firefighting is a risk based occupation.
Just like any other job, training and learning the nuances of the job will go a long ways towards him having a long and storied career.
Firefighting takes extraordinary focus. You have to lock your brain onto the emergency at hand and THAT will also deliver you safely to the end of your shift.
If he is concerned that you are having nightmares, his thoughts aren't where they should be.
I'm just surprised that a mutual decision weighing the pros and cons before he embarked upon this career wasn't done before he started.
I can't say if your nightmares will stop. If you aren't comfortable with him being a firefighter NOW; I don't think it will get any better down the road.
And where a husband would typically share his experiences on the job with his spouse, I am pretty sure that it wouldn't be the case, if he knew that it would upset you.
I would suggest that you talk to other wives and perhaps the fire department chaplain to get a better idea.
Best wishes.
TCSS.
Art
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