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What is on YOUR Christmas List?
Here is my warm and fuzzy Christmas List (same as last year, and the year before, and the year before ...):
1) I wish everyone would use extreme caution when doing holiday-type things (or common sense would be appreciated ... even a wee, little, bit would be nice)! People - you do NOT have to lose your minds during this brief period of time!
2) I wish people would not forget they are cooking something! Only acceptable excuse is dementia patients; beyond that? Nope! Well, okay, if your kitchen is furnished with an excellent, state-of-the-art, foam sprinkler system; go ahead! Your food may have an odd flavor to it, but hey, that turkey will sure as hell be crispy!
3) I wish people would not light candles or sterno, then wander away! Oh, and please, oh please, do not use those lovely paper or plastic decorations around the bases! For the love of God, you idiots, they are FLAMMABLE!
4) I wish people would leave turkey frying up to the professionals ... and, if they are not chefs or firefighters; they are not professionals!
5) I wish people understood that while fires are very nice in fireplaces, despite what songs and poems say, they do not need to be roaring! If you want roaring, take it outside to a field and build a bonfire (following all proper fire safety protocol).
6) If the weather outside is frightful ... for God's sake, STAY THE HELL HOME!
Sincerely,
Safety Officer Scrooge
PS: For those of you who do not know my sense of humor - this is all in FUN! Please take it as such. I love the holidays as much as anyone else, but by this time of year, am losing my marbles and looking for the funny in it all! Merry Christmas to you all - stay safe!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Firewriter on
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Hondo ... didn't you learn not to play with animals with sharp claws and no safe words?! One of Heather's favorite sounds is, "Grrrrrr" ... makes her little heart go, "pitty-pat". She mumbles something about hunting about that time ...
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Permalink Reply by Fabulous Heather Days of Summer on
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Ding Ding... Schools in Session...
Enter here... at your own risk...
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pitter-patter...pitter-patter...
Grrrrrrrrrr... I'm feeling naughty...
I think I shall go out for a stroll and see what man cubs I can find...
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Dearest Richard, how kind of you to worry about us; so sweet. However, quite unnecessary as Heather and I trained together and like to work as a team whenever possible; so much more entertaining.
We are never, ever, cocky ... we leave that to the men. They soon learn it is not wise to under estimate us. We love challenges; keeps us in top form and at the head of our game.
Ahh, Heather rang the class bell! Away we go ...
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Sister... have I told you lately how much I LOVE YOU ???
Hugs across the miles...
Boys can be sooo funny... with their big dreams... hee hee... bring it...
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Ditto!!
I know, they are quite amusing in so many ways ... got your back sister!
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Permalink Reply by Phoenix on
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Mold me, bend me, break me, I'll just keep coming back. Your right...safe is for firefighting....not play tiime.
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Sounds like Richard better grab a backpack, and pack a really big lunch.....'cause someones gonna get schooled.
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