Dee's Safe Shelter

After hearing about the latest incident Mrs. Chief went out on, I thought it would be a good idea for us to create a safe place for her to take shelter in. It’s a proven fact that the Animal Conspiracy is in full swing and the latest chatter off the wire is the animals of the North might be plotting something against the Lt.

I intercepted some info from their recon team (the squirrels) that Big Al & Baloo were really ticked off after being tagged & bagged by the Lt. From the carp attacking fisherman by jumping into their boats and trying to cause bodily harm to the poor lady out in Lady Heather’s neck of the woods who was attacked by crack team of green beret raccoons, the animals are increasing their amount attacks against us. We have to protect our own!

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Permalink Reply by Tom Williams on April 18, 2011 at 6:53am

Neighborhood Nervous Over Squirrel Assassin

BENNINGTON, Vermont- A Vermont neighborhood is being stalked by a renegade gray squirrel that has committed numerous vicious attacks on humans, recently. Kevin McDonald tells the Bennington Banner he was shoveling snow when the squirrel leaped down on him from his garage roof and started a furious assault. McDonald threw the animal off, but it twice jumped back on with teeth gnashing and claws ripping away. A game warden says numerous reports of similar attacks in this area are coming in but "I don't think we're going to see packs of marauding squirrels chasing out seniors and children down the street. This was just an isolated incident." But Kevin McDonald, who felt the fury of this gray terror responded, saying "I'm not so sure about that

Permalink Reply by Tom Williams on April 18, 2011 at 6:57am

Hey Chief, how come you didn't tell us about this little incident?

The Keys, Florida - The sea monkeys used to be a tourist attraction for local resorts but since they have become aggressive food thieves they are now driving them away. And some are suing. "How can they keep these filthy things around here? One of the little beasts stole my Chalupa and I was really hungry. That thing ruined my vacation," said Dee Weeson France, who brought legal action against the hotel which hosts the sea monkeys. "They are awfully grabby things, those monkeys. I think it wasn't just the food they were after."

Permalink Reply by Eric B on April 18, 2011 at 7:38am

The squirrels are just after my nuts LOL
we call em furry lil nut suckers around these parts lol sorry had to add that Tom

Permalink Reply by Patti Walz on April 18, 2011 at 7:40am

OK Tom... Now I am awake, just rolling in tears... this is perfect...hehehe

Permalink Reply by Patti Walz on April 18, 2011 at 7:41am

Being a wise*ss female I so want to say something to this.

Permalink Reply by Tom Williams on April 18, 2011 at 7:55am

Couldn't resist Dee, :o) Knew you'ld get a laugh out of it and what better way to start the work week than with a good chuckle.

Permalink Reply by Tom Williams on April 18, 2011 at 7:56am

Come on Chief, that's funny!

Permalink Reply by Fabulous Heather Days of Summer on April 18, 2011 at 8:05am

I heard that same rumor around the local pub too among the cougars and cubs who are also on the hunt to fulfill their hunger

Permalink Reply by Patti Walz on April 18, 2011 at 8:07am

Oh but Lady Heather... Does his comment not scream "take your best shot" hehehehe

Permalink Reply by Patti Walz on April 18, 2011 at 8:07am

I am loving this one.

Permalink Reply by Fabulous Heather Days of Summer on April 18, 2011 at 8:13am

I swear I have met that squirrel pack a few times...

ya think - those aren't squirrels - those are R.O.U.S.es - from the Princess Bride... RODENTS OF UNUSUAL SIZE

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I personally suggest distracting them with some items for food - equal to the size of a small child - something like Eric's nuts have worked well in the past

Permalink Reply by Fabulous Heather Days of Summer on April 18, 2011 at 8:14am

Tom - you are too cute - this thread is perfect!