So what is the funniest thing you have ever said to dispatch or heard over the radio? 

 

"The roads are slicker than goose snot" (neighboring station, this still has a rolling)

 

"Standy by for clear code or you can pick one" (my station, I could not find our code book)

 

So what have you done to make dispatch laugh, shake their heads, and go "Really?"

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Nice one Jeremy....
gotta love east coast definitions verse west coast definitions
We have a dispatcher who is from England. When he first came on it was fun listening to his accent being repeated and mimicked. He got a kick out of it.
Oh God, I am crying, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard, this is Great!

Call goes out for a MVA. Now this is a new chief responding from out of town who likes to run the scene before he even gets there, even from 15 minutes away. The first officer on scene arrives states the vehicle is off the road submerged in the brook (spring time flooding makes for 8 foot deep river) , all occupants are out. Chief calls and askes for a confirmation of all occupants out? Lt says affirmative. Then chief asks (while still 10 minutes away) "ok good, make sure the vehicle is shut down and stabilized" Lt just goes ummmmmmmmmmm.....Received...
Someone keyed the mic while having sex, so for about 10 minutes the only thing you could hear was a lot of moaning and groaning! dispatch kept saying OPEN MIC OPEN MIC!
I just blushed 10 different shades of red!!! OMG!
OMG... To funny.... I see a comedy act in the making... hehehe
Did they ever find out who it was? That would be embarrassing. Wow
heard it was a county deputy but not positive who it was!
Ooops.
Couple weeks back we were dispatched to a possible structure fire. The first arriving engine captain comes over the radio and announces that they are in the area, directly followed by "She's on fire!" You could see the flames from a good 1/2 mile away. After it was all said and done he said his reasoning for that comment was so that everyone would be packed up and ready to go as soon as they came off the trucks. He was a capt. stationed at a slow station for years and just recently moved to a very busy station, he's still working on his size-ups. Needless to say everyone came off their truck with their packs on, just like they always do, just like SOPs state lol.
-Jon
my personal favorite we were on a wires run and left the scene when it was safe turned over to PD...PECO (electric) came back a while later when fireboard (radio) hailed the station asking for a rep from us to come out I replied with "ok representative will be out within the hour" the response from dispatch was a chuckle and a loud *whistle*

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