If you weren't aware of it, that spells "respect", just like Aretha Franklin said so many years ago. So what is it? Why is it so elusive in emergency services? When you read the blogs and posts here on the Nation, so much of what is bandied about is the need for respect or the apparent lack of respect. Some of it is directed at respecting your elders (the crusty officer in your crew), respect for the youngsters (those probies you endure), respect for the opposite gender, and the public's percieved lack of respect for our sacrifices.

Well, for beginners, just because you become a firefighter doesn't entitle you to respect. I posted something to that effect earlier; just because you pin on the badge doesn't make you worthy of anything other than donning a piece of uniform.

For another, don't expect that others respect you for being a member of the human race, because people have to have self-respect before they feel comfortable enough to respect others. Furthermore, fear is different than respect. You may fear someone because of the actions they can have on you or your career, but not respect them.

Where am I going with this, you ask? Well, as a leader, there is a need to respect your colleagues and subordinates for the sole reason that they are entitled to common decency, or a respect for their beliefs and their feelings, but that doesn't necessarily add up to a respect for technical ability. Respect for someone as a "technician" must come after the demonstration of proficiency. For example a college professor you know may be well liked and respected as an individual, but their course is miserable and pedantic and they don't convey the knowledge that is needed to educate their charges. They may have a great deal of technical knowledge, but are unable to translate that knowledge into action, or in this case, teaching you math equations, or discussing literature, etc.

Sometimes when I am reading the posts on issues of respect, I wonder if any of the affected parties have ever taken the opportunity to put themsleves in the shoes of the person they think is being "disrespectful" and realized what the alternative viewpoint could possibly be? If I were a rookie and I felt like my colleages didn't respect me, well, is there a reason why these people could possibly be exhibiting behavior that I could construe as not caring about what I said, discounting my contributions, or simply ridiculing me in front of others?

You might argue that the person was just a bully, or stupid themselves and afraid of the wound on their ego if they were to side with you, or that they feel threatened. I'd be inclined to point out that you might actually be offending their own concept of right and wrong, or that you come across as a know-it-all, or that you actually don't know what you are talking about.

I am a student of leadership and change. I believe there is much to be gained about human behavior and managing people by study of military strategy, and by that I am specifically referring to relationships between adversaries. Much of what is missed by combatants who fail to prepare adequately is overlooking adversary culture and how the morals and beliefs of adverasries come into the picture in regard to taking opportunities, to observation of courtesies and traditions, and in mutual respect.

When you feel like someone doesn't respect you, the first finger you should point should be back at yourself; ask some internal questions as to how you got in the situation in the first place, what actions did you take that created this situation, and what specific actions could you take to create more respect and understanding of your points of view. There may be very deep-seated beliefs that you won't be able to change immediately, if at all, such as in cases of bigoted beliefs. The person may have had a negative experience with someone who behaved or presented ideas much the way you do. Some of the issues that cause people to project disrespectful behavior are very much rooted in past experiences that you will not easily overcome. However, you need to evaluate correctly if this is an insecurity or inability of that person or if you yourself are coming across in a manner that would create a lack of respect.

Mutual respect is something very important and should be shared universally, not hoarded. Respect for your role as a technician, however, requires you to develop trust, to demonstrate competency, and to exhibit positive behavior. It will not come overnight and you don't get an automatic "bye" on it. You can either do the job or you can't; if you can't and fail to try to solve the situation through education and practice, don't be surprised if you fail to achieve respect from your peers or other colleagues.